C: The only reason Mom and Dad are my parets is because i was born to them!
H: a biological conspricy huh

S: When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade
C: I say if life gives you lemons swing 'em right back and add a couple of lemons of your own

H : "What are you doing?"
C : "Being cool."
H : "You look more like you're bored."
C : "The world bores you when you're cool."

C:"...so could I mom?
PLease?
..PLEEEAASE?" *
H: "I still don't think giving her "bambi eyes" is going to get you a flame thrower."
C: "maybe I should sniffle a little too, huh?"

Love the sinner, hate the sin!

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

The world was in black in white back then, Calvin. Those are color photographs of a black and white world.

And yet (pause) life goes on.

Calvin: I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius.
Hobbes: What's misunderstood about you?
Calvin: Nobody thinks I'm a genius.

whats the point of being cool if you can't wear a sombrero?

Geez i go have a reason for everything!

Calvin(impersonating his dad, combed hair, glasses and all), to his dad: " Calvin, go do something you hate, being miserable builds character!" Hahahahaa!!!

calvin: im related to people i dont releate to

c:hobbes as a animal close to nature i ask you what do you think your here to do
h: were here to eat each other

C: And once again the day is saved, thanks to... Stupendous Man!

Mrs. Wormwood: CALVIN! We're studying geography! Now, what state do you live in?
Calvin: Denial

H: Do you have an idea for your story yet?
C: No, I'm waiting for inspiration.
You can't just turn on creativity like a faucet. You have to be in the right mood.
H: What mood is that?
C: Last minute panic.

C: "don't you hate it when you boogers freezes?"

Calvin, sitting at his "A Swift Kick in the Butt, $1" stand: I don't understand, everyone I know needs what I'm selling!

When you're really good at it, you're miserable!

lol how true

Test Question: "When did the Pilgrims land at Plymouth Rock?"

Calvin's answer:
"1620.
As you can see, I memorised this utterly useless fact long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever. You've taught me nothing except how to cynically manipulate the system. COngratulations"

Calvin:They say the satisfaction of teaching makes up for the lousy pay...

I LOVE IT!!

Calvin: "Dad, are you vicariously living through me in the hope that my accomplishments will validate your mediocre life and in some way compensate for all of the opportunities you botched?"
Calvin's father: "If I were, you can bet I'd be re-evaluating my strategy." Calvin (later, to his mother): "Mom, Dad keeps insulting me."

It's so full of fantastic quotes!!!

Dad: "...so pitching this junk would make me some kind of terrorist, huh?"
Mom: "Yep. It's our patriotic duty to buy distractions from a simple life."
Calvin: "Hey Mom, I saw a bunch of products on TV that I didn't know existed, but I desperately need!"

and

"Another day, another gray hair for Mom!"

C: At a corner home-made stand selling Hobbes "What everyone needs" a kick in the butt for $1.00

"Too bad the world will be ending soon."
"Beg your pardon?"
"Halley's Comet. Comets are harbingers of doom."
"No they arent, thats just superstition."
"Really? Guess I'd better write that book report."

"I wonder where we go when we die?"
"...Pittsburgh?"
"You mean if we're good or if we're bad?"

Reality continues to ruin my life.

Death to Oatmeal.